Its amazing, isn't it?
Looking back on this year, 2006, and seeing how much I've grown, I'm just amazed at what God's done for me.
He's given me a year of joy, laughter, yet with sadness and pain, but the former is more than the latter. He's given me new-found friends, and yet new-found enemies, but also the strength to survive.

In camp, God spoke to me about this coming year. He spoke to me about what he's going to do in my school, in my class, in me. But he also spoke about the storms that loom overhead.

Still, I know, that God is with me. And that he will lead and guide me all the way.

I believe in the hope that this year will not just be like the years before. It will be more than I've ever expected.

To the new year, new chances, and to God.


HAPPY NEW YEAR

Time for a philosophical post

Strictly speaking, free will does not exist. Every action a person does is influenced, whether indirectly or directly, by the actions done to him. Any and every action we do is all part of a chain reaction, the longest and greatest chain reaction ever. Not just that, but every action we do will also spark off its own chain of events that might converge with another's. That being said, theoratically it is possible to list out the entire future.

But its impossible for this to be believed world wide.

Because if it was, then the law would be useless.

Using an example, if a man decides to steal something, say, a loaf of bread, and gets caught, wouldn't he be sentenced to jail simply because he decided to steal that loaf of bread? However, this man's action of stealing the loaf of bread is but the result of the ongoing chain reaction. Therfore, it is not fair to sentence him to jail simply because he is following the chain of events.

So, what do we do?

We create the illusion of free will

An illusion that allows us to believe, to live with, ourselves. It is only through this illusion that you can ever blame someone for doing something.

So think about it, what does freedom truly mean, if we are forever bound to do what the chain of events dictates?

Scary, isn't it?

Now thats said and done, I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

Oh yea, and I changed my handphone number. Its now 96985010

The sky is dark
the moments are bleak
where can I find the peace I seek

The rain pours down
in the many shades of gray
leaving me astounded, nothing to say

confusion looms
hearts of stone
thoughts like that chill me to the bone

face the truth
strip away all lies
find the person deep inside

why the anger
why the hate
why are we getting into heated debates?

needing people
needing things
needing the saneness that it brings

my misjudgment
my mistake
my smile on my face is so very fake

looking at myself
I feel so dumb
what great monster have I become?

give it a day
give it two
give it the days to see it through.

In the tunnel
where's the light
or maybe I've just lost my sight

Labels: poem

Arrived from malaysia yesterday night.
Was a fun trip, mostly concentrated on christmas shopping.
don't have much to say, maybe I'll put up a poem soon.

There are some people that know I missed them. Then there are some that need to know I do.

--Edit--
As you've noticed, I've taken the liberty to delete some tags. I have a fragile, fragile ego. *cough*sarcasm*cough*

Just dropping by to thank everyone who came for my party. Thanks for the gifts, the wonderful wonderful card. Thanks. It made my day =D

leaving for melaka in the morning. Won't be back till 19th. Stay alive till then people!

And off I go!

Back from camp, and may I say, in every way, this camp was AWESOME!
Every service was filled with God's presence, cried in every one.
Before camp, God already told me to expect so much more than the last camp, but this was so different. God really spoke to me in so many different ways. I guess it starts with the faith to ask him, then the belief it will happen, then the revelation.
All my group members were AWESOME! GO SHAMMAH! My group members were: Eliza, Jean ho, Shaunice, Deborah (Jared's sister), Jackie, Ryan, Han Fei, Jian yang and me.
Thanks to them for making camp fun.
Also, thanks to my bunkmates for doing stupid stuff so I can laugh. Like reuben.
Thanks to all who wished me happy birthday
Thanks to all who WROTE ON ME
Thanks to the camp com for planning.
Thanks to all who served.
Thanks to our camp commandant!
Thanks to the pasters
And most of all, thanks be to God, my Lord and King, for just being there.

Night before camp. All the best for camp, people.

well well, its going to be a packed few days
Saturday is church and this play thingy for my mum's cell that I'm acting in. So I wont have time to pack for camp. Im lazy but its GOT to be done sooner or later.
sunday will be camp! I'm going to be my enthu-est for it. Somehow, camp is wayyy more fun when you are. I can't wait!
My group's called SHAMMAH. It means... drumroll please... astonishment! Aren't you ASTONISHED?! I'm burning into my lame reserves here. So laugh people!
I'm wayy too high for a serious post so bear with me.

Okay people, parTAY! 15th december at the tesserina. 3pm-10pm. BBQ pot luck! be prepared to swim. Oh yea, and dvd's galore!

random quote: Its your world, I just live in it.

This is one of those posts I'll look back on in a few months and wonder what made me high.

Well well, where to start.

My com's Macfee is back up and thus, all cboxes now flee my computer. Its the utter irony of the situation that creates a twisted funni-ness. Is that even a word? Maybe they should release a dictionary of gideon. That would be weird.

Today was the LOST event. My group was honor and we did the name proud. The most memorable moment would be... either somehow running into a string causing it to slice my stomach or eating every part of the apple except the stalk. Memories...

Time for a poem!

Shades of grey
Grey skies, grey faces, grey feelings, grey hearts
Thats what keeps the world apart
From unity, which has no bounds
That engulfs and surrounds

The grey moves, dark as clouds
The great evil it does shroud
Moves along, devouring its prey
Those who resist, it doth slay

But forget not, my dear friends
There is a chance to make amends
For what is grey without its white?
But a mute man with no sight

But for this brightness to ignite
First the darkness it must fight
An epic battle doth ensue
And we will definately see it through

Done. Pardon the sometimes-arcane english. I just thought it fitted better at some places.

I hate the feeling of being blind to other peoples feelings.

You know, the worst part is that I think you're right.

Labels: poem

If

If you can trust me when I say
"Tomorrow will be a wonderful day"
And even when you dont think so
Give a wide smile and say "I know"
If you can treat my burdens and trials and pains
And my joy and pleasures all the same
If you can pull me up at my lowest low
Against my constant repeated "no"

If you can hold me down when I go mad
Assure me when times are bad
Give advice when I need
Even though I may not heed
Keep me safe one way or another
Yet knowing when not to smother
If my heart's wishes you comprehend
I'd be more than proud to call you my friend

This would be the poem I said I would write
I drew inspiration from this poem
No, this poem is not an extention of how I feel, but an unleashing of feelings I know other people have.
Now, my second poem
first attempt at free form non-rhyme

The Price of Trust
What, my friend is the price of trust?
A simple word, spoken at the right time?
Or a courageous deed, of unspoken bravery?
Or a look in the eyes, which speaks thousands?
Or a pat on the back, done with utmost confidence?
Or maybe just an undying loyalty?

Viola
I'm busy trying to make a blogskin involving a random quote that came to me in the middle of service :"Remove the safety cap on your fire of passion."

Have a nice day, all you blog-readers.

Labels: poem