I'm tired
somewhere inside me, I know its my time of testing
I'm not doing very well

claiming

ni, lazy to blog
life's been good lately :D

except for maybe the fever I had
but I'm fine now :D

will blog more another time

(edit)
bored enough, so I shall do the '10 things to 10 people' thing

1. it annoys me, your pathetic excuses to why you can't talk to me. Sure, I don't really start conversations with you, but how am I supposed to when your responses are quite literally dead. I've never consciously done anything to hurt you, I defended you when it cost me, when you ignored me I didn't say anything, when you wanted to be my friend again I welcomed you with open arms. You say I'm your guilt. some days you don't act like it. I've been the best friend I could have been to you, but some days I doubt you're worth it.

2. its weird. Those days where we were so wrapped up in love are gone. Well, not really gone. Its like, that love's been converted. Into... other kinds of love. Like energy. I don't really mind. I've always liked your company. nice to talk non-threateningly.

3. sorry. Funny how I nearly called you by the name of another that held your place a long time ago. glad you didn't realise though

4. There are days where I'd really appreciate if I could count on you. Those days now come more often

5. Ugh, its annoying. I want to, but I can't. No, no, kairos! must be all about the freaking timing.

6. Wish I had talked more to you. I came to the conclusion that I can't be close to everyone a long time ago. Its more annoying when you try but the person retreats into their personal shell. annoying.

7. 6 years. 6 years. I just wish you'd get over your fear and realise my church isn't that bad a place. Should have come for Father's Love. It was made for you.

8. I'm sorry for neglecting you. But you can't depend on me forever! I like being the one you depend upon but I can't be the only one. Its not good for you. I worry.

9. I wonder if I'm wasting my breath sometimes. I probably am. All I hope for is for you to look back one day and go "hey, gideon was right, I should have listened"

10. Please! For my sake! GET OVER HER!

well that was... emotionally amusing. yes, very

yes yes, humongously late post

first off, let me say a huge huge huge BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the lovely miss DING XUE ER
and also, my deepest apologies for this... incredibly late post
and yes, your email to p. gary was read out to the whole service :)
many were inspired
go xue!

hmmm, alot to say, to alot of people

I'm burdened
"...I raised my hands and i told God that i wanted to carry a burden for him. And as I did, i actually felt the muscles in my shoulders tensing."
Saturday, December 31, 2005, 8:33 AM
Although I never recorded it down, God did reply me. I told him 'Lord, I want to carry your burden.'
He replied 'my dear, dear son, you should know this is not an easy burden to carry. even in your years in ignyte, you will face great challenges. I say to you again, do you want to carry this burden.'
'Yes, I do Lord'
and thats when the whole shoulder tensing pain happened
but that, that was physical pain
now I see more of what God meant
I'm gone through some of it, yet I know theres so much more to come
a minor leadership position in RGB
a leadership position in the prayer group in school
a learning leadership position in the cell group
plus all the other things I'm not supposed to tell

hmmm, poem
shall touch on the whole red pill blue pill-ness of matrix
inspired by the commonwealth essay written by joelle yong
and written in honour of xue er :P

oh yes! but first
A Blade Of Grass
by Brian Patten

You ask for a poem.
I offer you a blade of grass.
You say it is not good enough.
You ask for a poem.

I say this blade of grass will do.
It has dressed itself in frost,
It is more immediate
Than any image of my making.

You say it is not a poem,
It is a blade of grass and grass
Is not quite good enough.
I offer you a blade of grass.

You are indignant.
You say it is too easy to offer grass.
It is absurd.
Anyone can offer a blade of grass.

You ask for a poem.
And so I write you a tragedy about
How a blade of grass
Becomes more and more difficult to offer,

And about how as you grow older
A blade of grass
Becomes more difficult to accept.




heh, funny poem
now, my own

Pill

blue
well thats not fair
to walk away
simply because one
decided to stray

well thats not fair
to turn away
because the road ahead
is a darker grey

red
well thats not fair
to make me stay
well, I haven't
said okay

well thats not fair
to make me stay
I'll have no time
to go out and play

never content?



yea, thats it
more thought provoking then I intended it to
oh wow

dang, it didn't come out the way I wanted it to
nevermind

I'll do one of those "write 10 things to 10 people but don't reveal who" soon



its fun being the one who's always there
even if it is tiring
sometimes I guess I need someone to be there for me
I'm lucky I have my God :D

yes yes, weekend recap

(this post is dedicated to our dear
SISTER FRAAAAAAAAAN
who we will dearly miss)

sat
woke up bright and early (somewhat) at 9.30
to send sister fran off
and it was weird
because me, gis and grace lee
were pretty much the only youths there
... surrounded by leaders
... and pastor gary
... and all of sister fran's school friends

yep, pretty awkward

but still, I'm sad she had to go :(



service afterward
which was good
heh, but the main focus was more on fuel afterward

I LOVE MY BUZZ GROUP
and the S.E.A.L.S. rock

"those who dare, win"

heh heh heh

I'm looking forward to the many fuel's and cell times ahead of us

YAY

yep yep, short friday post

julian's here, for... fun

first few days of school have been fun
and I've been sleeping :D...
during lessons

anyway, only worry is the lang arts teachers
incredibly boring

oh, and by request, julian's going to 3.17

Happy early birthday to xianwen too!

ah, new year, the smell of ACS(I)'s (hallowed?) halls

anyway, watchnight was good
even if it did make my legs feel weird and numb
and supper afterwards was tasty :D

and yes,
THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO
GRACE YIP
(more affectionately known as gwacie wacie)

yes, thank you
for all the years of random conversations, weird laughing moments, and well-spent time.
thank you
and may God use you ever-so-mightily in Hong Kong

I went to send her off at the airport yesterday
(unlike a certain SOMEONE who broke a sacred pinky promise)
it was... sad
I will miss her ):

spent the next 4 hours or so at the airport
just chatting with BC, david, sam, dan yeow
memorable quotes:
BC:"how about daniel?"
sam:"who's daniel?"
*a moment passes*
dan yeow:*strangles sam*

interesting point though, dan yeow never gets called daniel
just... weird

anyway, first day of school
everything is just so... familiar
and its empowering knowing you have to walk up one level
its a sign that you're older
empowering!

(edit: it feels weird, so many of my classmates are old primary school friends. sense of the familiar. and on a random note, chicken rice in my school now costs $2. beat that.)

ni, tuition

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS:
1. grow fatter
2. be more buff. even if its just a little.
3. don't do anything incredibly stupid
4. know more school people
5. sleep earlier