mmm :)
good good good service.
I think I really needed it.
needed it so bad


"In periods of prolonged distress, we yearn for the Lord to carry us to a mountaintop, as he did Moses, and there reveal in detail the course of our lives. Instead, God requires us to wander like Abraham, as "strangers and pilgrims on the earth" (Hebrews 11:13), living on promises. To live on this side of the veil is to "walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7); it is to "feel after" the Lord (see Acts 17:27) as he lights our way home, one step at a time.

We have just sung lines by John Henry Newman that express this theme. Newman wrote "Lead, Kindly Light" aboard ship on the way home to England from Italy. He was homesick and seasick; he had just had malaria. Though he didn't know it yet, he was also about to take the first faltering steps of a spiritual pilgrimage that ultimately would lead him, and many who followed him, to another church. In these circumstances, Newman writes:

Lead, kindly Light, amid th'encircling gloom;
Lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene--one step enough for me. [Hymns, 1985, no. 97]"
(Taken from http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=2385, accessed 3rd August 2008)

one step enough for me Lord :)
I don't need the big picture
I surrender my all
I surrender my want, my need, my yearning for control
and I trust in you

walk by faith and not by sight (:

"Lord, God, its my fault"
"Its not Gid, it really isn't"
"then who's is it?"
"mine."
"Yours?"
"Yes gid, mine. When I gave my forgiveness, I took the fault, the blame, the burden, up from your shoulders and unto mine. The fault is mine now, debt paid in blood. So will you stop beating yourself up? I've forgiven you. Now I need you to forgive yourself."

And the printing presses
that are my fists
each wound signed
certified
initialed

me.
the beasts were already gone

me.

and He stood in front of me
with eyes that bled kindness
and sadness
and so much,
so much,
love.

an open hand
raised, lifted

and the hand reached out in return

freedom found.

heh :D

the end of emo-ness :p
freedom :)

I'm okay
and getting better everyday. :D

thanks to all who provided caring looks and, more importantly, tissue! :p
no really, thank you :)

(edit)
I finally found the verse I was looking for!
Psalm 51:16-17
"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise. "