niiii, need to be sleeping
putting it off, procrastinating
a math paper...
well, it sucks, cause I'm not sure how I did
I know I didn't ace it, but I also know I didn't fail epicly.
Its the indecision that eats at me >.<

ah, but history :D
aced that one!
thank you God :D
helped me spot the question in the break between papers
otherwise I would have missed it
thank you God :)

I've always wondered why is it that God kept sending prophets to ancient Israel
after all, couldn't he just show some amazing display of power
and all the people would just worship.

but I guess God doesn't work that way
because when God forces you to do something
something big
if, by some show of power, he strikes fear to do something
it changes the outside, but it doesn't change the heart

and that's what this is about right?
the heart

and I've been puzzling over this question again and again
what drives me?
what drives my heart?

its hard to.
because even looking at the shambles of my life
and noticing every mistake I've made
yet not realising the ones just under my nose

I still don't see it

it does feel like that
and no, I'm not alright
and no, I won't be for a while

but I will be eventually.
the time it takes doesn't matter
I need to get this down, and get it right.
I will emerge victorious
not by my hand though
by His.

because that's the only way to get it done.