Gideon
penguiknight/krantol
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
sunday (Vulnerability) @ Sunday, October 25, 2009
"The altars are a safe place"
I like that line.
Mostly because it's absolutely true.
I don't understand why some people feel they have to put on a mask in church
okay, I understand, but I don't condone it.
It's supposed to be the one place where things go right. Where you're close to God and the body of Christ. It's supposed to be the place where you can be who you are without condemnation.
And even worse is walls we build up.
I think the point when the altars become a life-changing place is when you let your guard down and let God in.
That's what so special at that place.
That's where we let loose, and praise God with wild abandon
That's where God does what He needs to because we let Him
Where we let go and let God.
And maybe that's what you need to learn
to be vulnerable.
Sure, you can be vulnerable at home.
In your time alone with God
But there's something special about the altars.
It's where God intends to meet His people.
I mean, if you read back to the days of the tabernacle, the altar was the place where offerings were placed and sacrifices made
it's where God met man, where Heaven touches Earth
It's a special, special place,
and God does recognize it's significance.
The thing about masks is that you're never going to be strong enough to keep them on all the time
or trying to live with it
it's like...
the hollow mask in bleach
(oh yes I just went there)
it doesn't matter how strong you are, you can't keep it up forever
eventually it's going to crack or fall away
especially in those moments of high tension or high pressure
you're going to tire
the choice given to you is when and where and with who
that you're gonna take that mask off
before it falls off for you.
take it off in His presence
and slowly you'll find you don't need it anymore.
(am rambling, am tired. nap time please.)
I like that line.
Mostly because it's absolutely true.
I don't understand why some people feel they have to put on a mask in church
okay, I understand, but I don't condone it.
It's supposed to be the one place where things go right. Where you're close to God and the body of Christ. It's supposed to be the place where you can be who you are without condemnation.
And even worse is walls we build up.
I think the point when the altars become a life-changing place is when you let your guard down and let God in.
That's what so special at that place.
That's where we let loose, and praise God with wild abandon
That's where God does what He needs to because we let Him
Where we let go and let God.
And maybe that's what you need to learn
to be vulnerable.
Sure, you can be vulnerable at home.
In your time alone with God
But there's something special about the altars.
It's where God intends to meet His people.
I mean, if you read back to the days of the tabernacle, the altar was the place where offerings were placed and sacrifices made
it's where God met man, where Heaven touches Earth
It's a special, special place,
and God does recognize it's significance.
The thing about masks is that you're never going to be strong enough to keep them on all the time
or trying to live with it
it's like...
the hollow mask in bleach
(oh yes I just went there)
it doesn't matter how strong you are, you can't keep it up forever
eventually it's going to crack or fall away
especially in those moments of high tension or high pressure
you're going to tire
the choice given to you is when and where and with who
that you're gonna take that mask off
before it falls off for you.
take it off in His presence
and slowly you'll find you don't need it anymore.
You're strong when I am weak
brave when I am not
God You are my God
-Lifter of My Head, Mia Fieldes
(am rambling, am tired. nap time please.)
1:10 AM
sunday (Refuse to be Denied) @ Monday, October 19, 2009
I know, I know, I've put this song up here twice already
it's not that it's a mindblowing song on the technical side
in fact, it's pretty repetitive, but I love it
I love the heart of it
This is one of the songs I sing when I'm pushing and pressing in
And just really saying that I refuse to be denied my audience with my King
declaring that I know who my God is
I know who I am in Him
I know His love
and I know that nothing has the right to get between Him and me
it's just a tremendous pushing and pushing and pushing for that breakthrough.
It's something familiar, a feeling I'm used to.
I'm rejoicing alot that my exams are over
heh, but at the same time
complaining :p
because now there's no excuse for God to give me opportunities
so I complain that He isn't giving me enough
then He shows me the ones He's already given that I'm not focusing on
then I go something like "oh riiiiight"
There's alot of looking to the future
and I'm trying to concentrate on my present.
maybe I should just look to God :)
Now's the time to take leaps of faith
to jump and trust that He'll catch you
even though it's so easy now to take time for yourself
I get it, you've been concentrating on your studies, now it's 'me' time
time to do what you want, to relax a little
I get it
but maybe your time is the most precious commodity you have
yea, your life is precious, and it's expressed in units of time
and every moment you take for yourself
is a moment you can't give to God.
take some time to recharge your batteries
but don't waste these last few weeks in school!
make it count people.
8:12 PM
sunday @ Sunday, October 11, 2009
I have a tendency not to blog much in my own voice during times of stress cause those are the moments where I don't trust myself to say what I should.
Anyway, the thought that came to me today in the midst of a very fun FUEL on apologetics (root word apologia, means 'in the defence of', in this context Christian faith. I actually enjoy apologetics because I love a) arguing and b) christianity (I blame mugging for the fact of suddenly using stuff like a) and b). Also, interesting use of brackets within brackets (which actually reminds me of The Only American From Our Village, by Arun Joshi. Oh wait, larts paper over) within brackets) and sixteen years of being a second-generation christian with a mind that thinks too darn much and that is what happens), when P. Andy raised the topic of moral dilemmas, I realised something. Isn't the beauty of moral dilemmas that they illustrate so wonderfully the human capacity for compassion. (also, if you could follow the train of thought above, kudos to you)
I mean think about it. The moral dilemma that he raised was one of those that I remember from POD sessions (acib ftw) as well as something I've wondered about in primary school before. Is it morally wrong for a man to steal medicine for his dying child? What if he's tried every possible legal method to get that money, but all turn him down? Is it still wrong for him to steal?
And I'm not going to pronounce a verdict on whether or not it is, but take a step back and think about it. The fact that your first instinct is to admit that stealing in itself is a morally wrong action, yet the circumstances of why he did that would cause you to reconsider, thus the dilemma. If we were but cold, heartless, fully judging without love or compassion, then regardless of circumstance we would condemn. Yet because each and everyone of us possess that piece of His heart, we reconsider. The very act of reconsidering itself illustrates that we can feel. And I think that's pretty beautiful (:
4 down, 10 to go
You are bigger, stronger, and more than enough for my mountains :)
Anyway, the thought that came to me today in the midst of a very fun FUEL on apologetics (root word apologia, means 'in the defence of', in this context Christian faith. I actually enjoy apologetics because I love a) arguing and b) christianity (I blame mugging for the fact of suddenly using stuff like a) and b). Also, interesting use of brackets within brackets (which actually reminds me of The Only American From Our Village, by Arun Joshi. Oh wait, larts paper over) within brackets) and sixteen years of being a second-generation christian with a mind that thinks too darn much and that is what happens), when P. Andy raised the topic of moral dilemmas, I realised something. Isn't the beauty of moral dilemmas that they illustrate so wonderfully the human capacity for compassion. (also, if you could follow the train of thought above, kudos to you)
I mean think about it. The moral dilemma that he raised was one of those that I remember from POD sessions (acib ftw) as well as something I've wondered about in primary school before. Is it morally wrong for a man to steal medicine for his dying child? What if he's tried every possible legal method to get that money, but all turn him down? Is it still wrong for him to steal?
And I'm not going to pronounce a verdict on whether or not it is, but take a step back and think about it. The fact that your first instinct is to admit that stealing in itself is a morally wrong action, yet the circumstances of why he did that would cause you to reconsider, thus the dilemma. If we were but cold, heartless, fully judging without love or compassion, then regardless of circumstance we would condemn. Yet because each and everyone of us possess that piece of His heart, we reconsider. The very act of reconsidering itself illustrates that we can feel. And I think that's pretty beautiful (:
4 down, 10 to go
You are bigger, stronger, and more than enough for my mountains :)
10:06 PM
saturday (God is Love) @ Saturday, October 10, 2009
very very thought-provokingly amusing
White Man - Michael Gungor Band
White Man - Michael Gungor Band
9:38 PM
pop (Psalm 71) @ Friday, October 09, 2009
But as for me, I will always have hope
-Psalms 71:14
11:09 PM
thursday (Psalm 69) @ Thursday, October 08, 2009
Psalm 69
"1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.
4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.
5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you.
6 May those who hope in you
not be disgraced because of me,
O Lord, the LORD Almighty;
may those who seek you
not be put to shame because of me,
O God of Israel. "
"13 But I pray to you, O LORD,
in the time of your favor;
in your great love, O God,
answer me with your sure salvation.
14 Rescue me from the mire,
do not let me sink;
deliver me from those who hate me,
from the deep waters.
15 Do not let the floodwaters engulf me
or the depths swallow me up
or the pit close its mouth over me.
16 Answer me, O LORD, out of the goodness of your love;
in your great mercy turn to me.
17 Do not hide your face from your servant;
answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.
18 Come near and rescue me;
redeem me because of my foes."
"29 I am in pain and distress;
may your salvation, O God, protect me.
30 I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.
31 This will please the LORD more than an ox,
more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.
32 The poor will see and be glad—
you who seek God, may your hearts live!
33 The LORD hears the needy
and does not despise his captive people.
34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and all that move in them,
35 for God will save Zion
and rebuild the cities of Judah.
Then people will settle there and possess it;
36 the children of his servants will inherit it,
and those who love his name will dwell there."
"1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.
3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.
4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.
5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you.
6 May those who hope in you
not be disgraced because of me,
O Lord, the LORD Almighty;
may those who seek you
not be put to shame because of me,
O God of Israel. "
"13 But I pray to you, O LORD,
in the time of your favor;
in your great love, O God,
answer me with your sure salvation.
14 Rescue me from the mire,
do not let me sink;
deliver me from those who hate me,
from the deep waters.
15 Do not let the floodwaters engulf me
or the depths swallow me up
or the pit close its mouth over me.
16 Answer me, O LORD, out of the goodness of your love;
in your great mercy turn to me.
17 Do not hide your face from your servant;
answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.
18 Come near and rescue me;
redeem me because of my foes."
"29 I am in pain and distress;
may your salvation, O God, protect me.
30 I will praise God's name in song
and glorify him with thanksgiving.
31 This will please the LORD more than an ox,
more than a bull with its horns and hoofs.
32 The poor will see and be glad—
you who seek God, may your hearts live!
33 The LORD hears the needy
and does not despise his captive people.
34 Let heaven and earth praise him,
the seas and all that move in them,
35 for God will save Zion
and rebuild the cities of Judah.
Then people will settle there and possess it;
36 the children of his servants will inherit it,
and those who love his name will dwell there."
9:17 PM
mornings @ Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Everything I need is You
my beginning my forever
Everything I need is You.
it doesn't matter how loud this world screams and shouts for me to be silent. All the more I shall cry out. Because surely, surely my Saviour hears.
my God saves.
3:00 AM
monday (Psalm 31:7) @ Monday, October 05, 2009
Psalm 31:7
I like this picture (courtesy of cysr.tumblr)
Because this is what it feels like in this season
bahh, I hate exam stress
I hate it with a passion. It's not a feeling I like, not a feeling I'm used to
and I hate the vulnerability that comes with it.
The stress... sometimes you start making decisions, small steps to stupid
little mistakes, little compromises
and next thing you know you stumble again.
and He's struggling to remind me that He loves me nonetheless.
that His grace is a net that never breaks, that never gets packed away. It's always ready and available.
There's alot that goes through my mind. Mostly because exams kick my brain into overdrive and that means I don't shut off my thinking when I want to
I don't like it :/
but praising Him when you're feeling crap
there's something liberating about it
What you're declaring when you worship is the nature of God, the truths about the kind of God He is.
And as I sing, I find more and more the words are sung back to me
And I begin to hear and remember that indeed, His Name is a strong and mighty tower
A shelter like no other
Nothing, nothing else saves me from my fears, my iniquities, my stress; nothing saves me from it but His name.
It reminds me of the God I'm worshipping.
That's why I press in even when I feel crap
I mean there are different types of worship.
Know what I mean?
There are those moments where it's just an outpouring from heaven and your worship just feels so... natural
then there are times where there's just the quiet stillness of His presence. And all the worship you give Him emerges as a smile as He draws near
then there are times where you just don't feel it. Your heart's hard. You know He's there, but you don't feel it
that's crunch time.
I don't know about you, but it's not easy. I think that's kinda the point though.
Will you still worship if you don't get anything in return?
Because that, my friend, is selfless worship. Of the awesome variant.
best friend, is it weird to say I love how you're struggling with it? Because it means God means so darn freaking much to you that it matters if something is going to get in the way
p.s. xuexue, will reply email after exams. And you won't mind because we made it a rule and because you are a very nice person who understands :)
1:21 AM
sunday (somebody to love + spanish rap) @ Sunday, October 04, 2009
massive thanks to xuexue for finding the song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcRoZ91pVwo
GLEE FTW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgg9uVcK-ZU
and Community too
Me llamo T-Bone / La araña discoteca
I laughed so hard my stomach hurrrt.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcRoZ91pVwo
GLEE FTW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgg9uVcK-ZU
and Community too
Me llamo T-Bone / La araña discoteca
I laughed so hard my stomach hurrrt.
12:02 AM
saturday (discombobulated) @ Saturday, October 03, 2009
1. I hate exam season
2. physics and math, however fun, are tiring to study :(
3. The prayer "Lord keep me humble" is one of those you can bet will not go unanswered
4. I am such a math geek. It is also hard for me to admit that
5. Glee is awesome. I mean, awesome.
6. Sometimes I think this blog loses the personal touch. hm.
7. I worry alot about many many things, the bulk of them being other people and their problems
8. I should probably do less of the above
9. twitter is now part of my daily routine
10. I love God. Very very much.
11. back to chemistry. Electro-lysis, elec-trolysis, to-may-to, to-mah-to
[edit]
at alleekoh's behest, I shall blog down one of those things that go through my mind on a bi-weekly basis (I'm serious, I take note of how many times it happens). Namely, what heaven's like. I mean, it's hard to find concrete things about heaven. Even the 'streets of gold' may just be symbolism. But here's what I think about heaven.
It'll be awesome.
Like, full-blown awesome. Awesome times awesome to the power of imponente which is spanish for awesome.
I mean, think about it.
We'll be able to understand why the double-slit experiment gives such weird readings; confirm or deny string theory; find out why pi is so darn irrational; quantify i; see what radiowaves or gamma rays look like; find out who would really win in a fight between a pirate and a ninja; hear 70 different octaves; speak hebrew/latin/french/any number of languages; FINALLY understand chinese; have a fun chat with the biblical gideon (yea, I do think that would be awesome); see what spiritual battles look like in the spiritual realm; DINOSAURS; experiment on what foods taste best with chocolate; have worship sessions that don't end; play soccer with king david and apostle paul; live as we were meant to.
But the most awesome awesome imponente thing?
Finally coming face-to-face with the one who I've felt and heard so many many times
and rejoicing with Him that we made it!
and living eternity with Him
Never having to worry about falling to sin, never having to worry that something bad's gonna happen
Maybe some of the things I listed above won't happen (I sincerely hope there's chocolate and soccer), but I know the last one will.
and we'll be able to just go on walks with Him, goof off, be silly
at the same time worship Him and love Him with the whole community of believers.
nothing will seperate Him and His people.
And that will be imponente enough for me. :)
[/edit]
2. physics and math, however fun, are tiring to study :(
3. The prayer "Lord keep me humble" is one of those you can bet will not go unanswered
4. I am such a math geek. It is also hard for me to admit that
5. Glee is awesome. I mean, awesome.
6. Sometimes I think this blog loses the personal touch. hm.
7. I worry alot about many many things, the bulk of them being other people and their problems
8. I should probably do less of the above
9. twitter is now part of my daily routine
10. I love God. Very very much.
11. back to chemistry. Electro-lysis, elec-trolysis, to-may-to, to-mah-to
[edit]
at alleekoh's behest, I shall blog down one of those things that go through my mind on a bi-weekly basis (I'm serious, I take note of how many times it happens). Namely, what heaven's like. I mean, it's hard to find concrete things about heaven. Even the 'streets of gold' may just be symbolism. But here's what I think about heaven.
It'll be awesome.
Like, full-blown awesome. Awesome times awesome to the power of imponente which is spanish for awesome.
I mean, think about it.
We'll be able to understand why the double-slit experiment gives such weird readings; confirm or deny string theory; find out why pi is so darn irrational; quantify i; see what radiowaves or gamma rays look like; find out who would really win in a fight between a pirate and a ninja; hear 70 different octaves; speak hebrew/latin/french/any number of languages; FINALLY understand chinese; have a fun chat with the biblical gideon (yea, I do think that would be awesome); see what spiritual battles look like in the spiritual realm; DINOSAURS; experiment on what foods taste best with chocolate; have worship sessions that don't end; play soccer with king david and apostle paul; live as we were meant to.
But the most awesome awesome imponente thing?
Finally coming face-to-face with the one who I've felt and heard so many many times
and rejoicing with Him that we made it!
and living eternity with Him
Never having to worry about falling to sin, never having to worry that something bad's gonna happen
Maybe some of the things I listed above won't happen (I sincerely hope there's chocolate and soccer), but I know the last one will.
and we'll be able to just go on walks with Him, goof off, be silly
at the same time worship Him and love Him with the whole community of believers.
nothing will seperate Him and His people.
And that will be imponente enough for me. :)
[/edit]
9:30 PM