4.
It really is incredibly emotionally draining to write this thing. How exactly can one pull up that much out of one's emotions to write and put emotions and sentiments and feelings into heartfelt words that can be understood? It's weird to say that I miss you. Because I know it's really so much worse for you. But I do (in my selfish way) I do miss your company. I miss your laughter, however funky it is. I miss your mock angry look while you entertain my retarded comments (mouth initially half-open, eyes trying to be fierce, pretty quickly the edges of your mouth break into a grin, so you stop yourself from outright laughter with some sardonic comment, some varient of "you dare?"). I miss you friend. And it's exactly because I haven't forgotten you that I miss you; and it's because I miss you that I don't forget you. I try not to make promises that I might break, so I'd better try pretty darn hard when I say that I won't forget you. I do need you to know that you're pretty deeply missed, but I also need you to know that our friendship is strong enough. It's strong enough, covenantal enough, that it will remain. It will stay. And I need you to know that where you are is right where He needs you to be. And to let my selfishness, our selfishness, infringe in His Will is something we'll never allow ourselves to do. So take root there, and keep growing. So when we meet again our heartfelt, selfish desires might be met in His time, on His conditions, in a manner that will be miles and mountains more satisfying and enriching than in our own. So though this request is selfish, please keep growing where you are.

(also, this may be the most serious thing, ever, that I have ever written to you :p incredible contrast to the shoe poem of old)



(oh yes, and to you, casual reader, it probably isn't you)