Finally, back home, and it's time to outpour.

Oh so many many things to write about, but the fear is that if I don't they'll be too quickly forgotten.



So the first one, on the revelation of His love and about worship.
I remember the third day of camp. In the morning, we had the Tabernacle Experience, which, imo, was wonderful. I like it when careful studying of the Bible reveals the way God works, the way He enjoys working, the way He wants things to be done :p having something of a solid guide helps. And when we were in the second room, the room of just worshiping and lifting His name high, I was telling Him "God. I'm tired. Really tired. And feeling sleep-deprived. But I'll worship You. You're more than deserving." So that's what I did. And I got the sense that I sometimes get? That in my worship, it's like I'm hitting this invisible wall, like I'm pushing against some kind of curtain, trying desperately to get through to God. There wasn't that emotion, that 'wong wong' feeling that motivates the worship, just worshiping because He more than deserves it. And through the worship, He suddenly brought to mind a quote I read a while back, that 'the times of worship God loves the most are so very different from the times of worship man loves the most' (leave you to puzzle that one out)

And in the night service, God decided to show me what that meant. In the time of worship before P. Dom began his sermon, I was just telling God how much I loved Him. And looking back, I wasn't expecting anything. I just wanted Him to know. I just wanted Him to know that I loved Him so very very very much. And that was that.

So as P. Dom closed the time of worship, told us to sit down and take out our Bibles. And I had just begun to sit down and focus on what's next when suddenly it felt like God tapped me on the shoulder in that 'one more thing' way, and the next thing I knew there was just this outpouring of His love. So here I am sitting hunched on my seat, reaching down to take my Bible out from my bag, and suddenly tears start flowing. Thank God that at that moment P. Dom went back to singing. Could hardly sing though, my breathe kept getting caught in tears.

God loves to love :) never forget that.



The other lesson from camp:

We simply cannot lead without love. That's the way Jesus did for us while He was on Earth, the way the Holy Spirit does it with us now, and the way God will do it in Heaven. That's His style, yo. (yeah, I just had to talk about all three). He doesn't do anything except out of love. Everything He does, He does from a heart of love. Street Evangelism is hard, sure, because it requires you to do something that is uncomfortable. But once it's done from a heart of love, it gets easier. Suddenly, seeing the look in someone's eyes where your words aren't doing alot, but somehow God's using those words to carry His spirit into a person's heart. Being an SP is tiring. It requires you to care for someone else other than yourself, and not expecting anything in return. But once it's done from a heart of love, it gets easier. Suddenly you feel His heart to see your friend know Him more, and then you want it just as much as He does. Being a group leader is hard. But once you do it out of a heart of love, it gets easier.

I admit to trying to lead my group without love. But at the second service, God took me aside and said 'love before you lead'. That's the way He does it. Or else, what's the point right? Suddenly you lose sight of the individuals and only care for the group, the whole. And secretly, that's the way I used to think God viewed the church. 'Sure, He loves the group, but who's to say He loves me? Me in particular?' But He's taught me how to love the individuals first, then bother about the group.

I must add that we cannot scrounge up this love by ourselves. No mortal man can suddenly wake up one morning and decide to love God all of a sudden. We need to experience His First Love (and I believe many at camp did). John 3:16 (the most famous verse) shows the natural progression. God loves us first, not we loving Him, but He loving us. And not even in that 'yes, I know He loves me' way, but in a fresh way. It starts with a fresh experience of His love. That's how you love Him. He doesn't expect you to create some fresh love out of nothing, out of some forced emotion. No, that's the characteristic of a dictator, one who demands love from nothing. That's not God. It's a Newtonic thing. He gives us love first. That's how we love Him. That's the nature of love. An action of love which then creates an equal and opposite reaction of love.



Also: I love Jeremiah 33:3
"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."





GREEN STALLION 5 NOTES IN THE NEXT ONE.